A random look at the life and times of Jim Rising recovering radio addict and newspaper columnist.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day. Got Beer?


Nowhere is the difference in the sexes more apparent than at a Hallmark store on valentines’ eve. In a perfect world I would be no where near the Hallmark store on the day before this most romantic of all Holidays. Side note. Is it truly a Holiday if we don’t get a day off? Just wondering. But events and timing conspired yesterday to put me smack dab in the middle of a heart shaped, cupid inspired, crimson frenzy. Because the store was crowded like they were giving away free beer I had plenty of time to observe behavior. Men, when shopping for Valentines card do so quickly and with decisive moves. They stride confidentially to the display racks, reach out a hand and bang! They have the perfect card. How can they be sure that it’s the perfect card? Because no matter what sort of card it is, at least the recipient knows they took time to get a card, so they get points for that. Women on the other hand take their time. They look at every card in the store a least twice, including birthday and anniversary cards which is not the mission. Eventually after much agonizing they will pick out the perfect card, which the recipient will take a quick look at and immediately start thinking about his chances of getting lucky or sports.
The checkout line is also a great divide for men and women in the Valentines Day frenzy. Women wait until the total is announced to them to find money. It’s almost like it comes as a surprise to them. Oh, I have to pay now, right? So it’s into the purse and minutes pass while they dig around looking for cash. Men approach the register with cash in their fist, anxious for nothing more than the transaction to be done with. Men also and this is without exception, turn the card so that the cashier cannot see the sappy sentiment that have purchased. Most men would sooner be hit by lightning than have anyone other than the intended see the card they have picked out. Women on the other hand don’t conceal the card and in fact I think want to make sure as many people as possible see the thing.
The other difference is the faces as they leave the store. Women leave with happy, almost glowing expressions.
Men run out like they have escaped Sing Sing with cards held tight to the side so other men can’t see that they have been doing the valentine day duty.
If Valentines Day didn’t exist think about all the chocolate manufacturers, rose growers and card makers that would go out of business.

3 comments:

Jim Rising said...

my wife rocks. she actually got me beer for Valentines day! :) you might be a redneck if?

Jim Rising said...

It should be noted here that the Jim Rising posting here is my oldest son. If your kids don't read your stuff, who will?

Donna T said...

Hi Jim!! Love your blog-- and thank you so much for putting my link on your site! I just reciprocated! Have a nice week!