Let's all go to the movies

I am not pretending to be a film critic although I have seen one or two on TV. I don’t have the background in film to be able to give thumbs up or down but I know what I like.
I saw a film recently that I liked. More on that later. First let me say that I hate going to the theater to see a movie. Almost every thing about the experience grates on my few remaining nerves. Just the fact that I have no control over when it starts and there is no pause button is enough to put me in a bad mood. Ticket prices? A $7.75 EARLY BIRD special? It’s to laugh. Small popcorn and drink $10? Wowser. But the biggest drawback is the other people. Now I know I am sounding like a misanthrope but people in general are a pain in the ass. In a movie theater they are even worse. Coughing, farting blowing their noses and talking talking talking. If I had a rocket launcher. But this week the long suffering wife and I chose the early show and there were, count them, twelve others in the theater. So we settled in and snacked on our solid gold popcorn and drank our more expensive than Dom Pérignon soda and waited out the ads and previews. As you may have guessed the entertainment today was “Avatar” presented in what the newspaper ad called “READ D 3-D” (It’s actually “Real D” but let them go). It was, in word, epic. (WARNING: Semi Spoiler alert. Don’t read on if you haven’t seen it.) Now I can certainly agree with all the bashers of this film about some things. It’s a recycled “Pocahontas.” Yup, sort of. It’s anti-military and pro science. Ok. It’s really just boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. It’s a horse opera with blue skinned creatures with bows and arrows playing the Indians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t care. I laughed, I cried and when the hero walks I got a lump in my throat the size of Plymouth.
And the REAL D 3-D was nothing short of breathtaking. We also saw the Disney “A Christmas Carol” in 3-D and it too was great. The difference between Disney’s and James Cameron’s use of the technology is this: Disney pokes you in the eye with an icicle. “Avatar” used 3-D to immerse you in the story and then make you feel like you are in the movie. It’s really quite spectacular. The Real D website says: “In the future, 3D will expand to…the home.” Fantastic! No Annoying Humans! Till then I suggest the early show. Oh, and bring lots of money.