Inspection? We don't need no Inspection

Did you notice that your Pennsylvania state inspection and emission stickers are peeling off from your car windshield? Did you think it was your fault? Maybe you ran the defroster too much, or possibly the garage guy didn’t scrape all the old one off before putting on the new one? Is that what you thought, bunkie? Well guess what? It was none of the above. While they won’t come right out and say it, Penn Dot found cheaper glue and now the stickers are sliding off the windshields. But you would think that since you are required by law in Pa to display those stickers that if they are falling off due to a change made by Penn Dot or whoever actually takes care of stickers they would man up and fix the problem. I understand it may be the Department of General Services-DGS or DGS, Department of General Screwups. Is that what's troubling ya, friend? Well relax. The state of Pa is no more likely to take credit for the screw-up any more than they will solve the problem of the slippery stickers. If your sticker (or you) come completely unglued you can opt for a replacement. According to published reports (does this column count as a “published report?”) the replacements cost no more than $4 for an inspection sticker and $4.40 for an emissions sticker. Now this is wrong on so many levels that it makes my head spin like Linda Blair on speed. I have to pay for Penn Dots screw up? Instead of forcing the manufacturer of the stickers to pay for the cost of replacement stickers, they want the public to pay for shoddy workmanship and sub standard materials. The horror! The outrage! And why does it cost “no more” than $4? Can I get it cheaper? Can I shop around? And why does the emissions sticker cost 40 cents more? A variety of solutions have been proposed for DYI fix it’s from tape to clear nail polish. I shudder to think how hard it’s gonna be to remove super glue from thousands of windshields in that hard to reach lower left hand corner. Now I am not really a conspiracy theorist but I know that the State Police will stop you if you are missing a sticker or even if the sticker looks suspicious. Could this be a plan to give the State a reason to stop you? I know it’s being unreasonably paranoid to think that Penn Dot and the Law Enforcement agencies are working together to thin the herd. I know this just as sure as I know that…wait. Is that ANOTHER black helicopter circling my house? I could be wrong.